I’ve always purchased Hanes Briefs with the transverse fly which I felt gave greater security. In the past the local Penney’s store carried them. I was recently in their store refreshing my supply for the year. Their Hanes only had the diagonal fly. Their other brands also had only the diagonal fly. When a clerk saw me checking a number of counters, she came over and asked, “Can I help you?”

I replied I was looking for briefs with a transverse fly. Do you have any?

She looked at me rather quizzically and asked, “How does that work?”

Well, lady I don’t think I’m going to show you how it works here in the store.

Would a woman buy her Lingerie from a man in the Lingerie department?

I normally do not deal with women in the Men’s department.
But I thought this would be a short answer, not a question.

One time I was examining a male and when I got down to the genitalia and prostate, I remarked he had a small wart on his phallus. I proceeded to the rectal and prostate exam, checked the stool on my glove for blood, and as I was taking off my gloves and washing up, the patient asked, “Where you referring to my D**k before?”

Recognition! With apologies to all the Richards out there, I guess that’s the local vernacular. I remember that from the Midwest but had not heard that in a long time.

So his “Richard” had a small wart. I touched it up with 13% ASA solution and told him to keep an eye on it to make sure it disappeared.

He said he would.

Next month I’ll tell you about my Uncle Willie from Kansas.

That reminds of the time I accidently put on my briefs inside out. I didn’t notice anything unusual until I went to the toilet to empty my bladder. I couldn’t get in to my “Richard.” I finally figured out I had to enter from below and probably had my briefs on backward, or rather inside out. On entering from below, I figured out I’d have to make a sharp U-turn once I got to the fly on the other side. Once I got a hold of my “Richard” and pulled him up to the inner fly, I then had to coax him downward to the outer fly. What if he weren’t long enough? But I found out that I could stretch Richard enough to make it to the opening and then I could man handle him with both hands until I had drained my bladder. It worked.

Now should I go back and explain that to the lady at Penney’s?

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